Every week, countless times a week, Layton asks me to help him put together a specific toy. This toy is a marble tower that contains about 60 pcs (feels more like 600) and 20 marbles. In a matter of two minutes, he tears in apart and scatters the pieces everywhere and the marbles end up all over the house. Needless to say, this is not my favorite toy but he likes it and I reluctantly put it together every single time. I usually let out a sigh when he brings me the box and I have even tried hiding it to avoid the disaster. I am sure as parent’s we all have that one toy we try to avoid. This is mine and it makes me want to cry some days. Last week it actually brought me to tears but probably not for the reason you are thinking.
I was making dinner while Layton was in his playroom. He was quiet so I walked over to check on him. Guess what? He had pulled out that stinkin toy, opened the box and dumped the pieces everywhere. I took a deep breath, walked away and gave him a few minutes hoping maybe he would clean it up. When I came back, he had built a tower all by himself. He was putting the marbles in the top and watching them fall to the floor. When he caught me watching him, he said “look momma,” and was so proud. I instantly started to shed some tears. The idea that he no longer needed me to put this toy together made me so emotional. Why? I have no idea. I really disliked this toy and I should be glad that he could finally do it himself. But I wasn’t , I was now bummed that he had reached another level of independence and needed me for one less thing. This toy that absolutely drives me crazy has now become the one thing I keep hoping he will grab when he goes in the playroom. After a week of thinking about this, I have started to realize that this is only the beginning and I am in for a long road of tears.
I guess it’s crazy how this happens. Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. I am finding myself holding on to every little cute thing he does because there have been so many times in the last couple months where he has shown so much independence. Can’t I just keep him little forever ? Please tell me that this gets easier ! I’m sure all my momma friends out there can relate to this post.